Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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