Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
