Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Randomize
