My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
