he wants to bone in the snuggie
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
