just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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