i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
