do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
