Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize