you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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