The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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