Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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