And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
