I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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