I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
