My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
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who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
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New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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