im six kinds of drunk right now
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
