she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
