Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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