I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So vagazzling was a success
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
