my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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