Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
