YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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