Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
do nipples grow back?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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