woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
