I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
someone owes me an orgasm
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
