Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
