does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
