and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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