How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
