Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
