Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
