So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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