just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
