I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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