We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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