it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
