oh god the rape fog is back!
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
