airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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