Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
