I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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