I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
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Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
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seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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