i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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