By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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