hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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