I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
