I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
