I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
