Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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