I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
