I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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