piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
