how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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