I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
