I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
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