Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
