he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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