So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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